Monday, May 19, 2008

What Gabriella Thinks of Time-Out

Gabriella was being generally ornery, fussy and whiny this morning and then hit me when I told her she couldn't have something. So, I plopped her in the corner and told her to sit there. She got hysterical and this is what she thought of it (I know mean mommy taking pictures!):

When she had been there for a couple of minutes and had calmed down, I told her she could get up and to come give me a hug and tell me she was sorry. She said "Sorry". Then, she started crying again, hugging me and and saying "I love you, I love you, I love you". awwwwwwwwwwwww.

I'm still trying to figure out the logistics of this when she refuses to a) listen and b) stay in one spot. I know the idea of a time-out is to put them there and walk away and say nothing more until it's time to get up. But, if I don't stand right there and keep telling her to stay there and sit down, she won't. And every time I tell her to sit down, she gets all hysterical again....... sigh.... Any suggestions? She really is pushing us to the limit because she absolutely won't listen to us. Like ever...... It's especially an issue when safety is an issue. If you let her down in the front of the house, she will head for the street and won't come back if you call her or tell her to stop.

And a couple of happy pictures.


JuJu - said...

oh how I needed that post - we are in this "two" thing together!

she is a gorgeous child Alleen:)

Kerry said...

Well, I'm right there with you, so I'm not going to give advice, but I will tell you what Supernanny says! If she gets up, she says to just say nothing and put her back. It'll be rough for the first few days/weeks?, but when she realizes you're not giving in, she'll turn the "timeout corner." I think with everything, consistency is always the key.

It's SO easy to get flustered in the heat of the moment. And don't you know they always do something right as you're walking out the door and you have to stop everything and go through the routine! Oy, these little people are going to do us all in!

Mackenzie's Forever Family said...

Sorry, I got nothing for ya. Kenzie threw her time out chair across the room today and absolutely REFUSED to say sorry.

I'll be checking in though to see if anyone else has any good ideas.

Kelly said...

the timer helps at our house...she knows she has to listen for the timer and when it goes off she gets to come out.

She is so darn cute...too cute to be bad!

Kerri said...

I'm no help either - just starting to get to this. I'll be interested to see others' suggestions though.
She's such a cutie, even when she's crying. ;0)
Kerri and Ruby

Michelle Smiles said...

I agree with Kerry and Supernanny (and I am putting the disclaimer on this right now that it is easier said than done and I haven't had to get too far into with my child yet). Consistency. Keep putting her back. The first time you can remind her she has to stay until you tell her she can get up but after that don't engage her in conversation. I've found with Sabrina, I can't walk away or she follows me. So I either turn my back to her but stay close (not close enough for her to touch me) or if she is being really obstinate and need to keep her in my sight, I stay facing her but look at a point above her head so there is no engagement/eye contact. Good luck - this part of parenting is rough! And I don't think it gets any easier.

Carrie said...

I wish I had some good advice. Luckily we don't have those problems here yet (even though everyone is saying 3 is worse than 2). Savannah's tantrums are short and can usually be diverted pretty quickly. I don't put her in time out per say. I just put her in a safe area and walk away and tell her when she works it out and feels better to come for hug and we can do ____________ (I give her an alternative). Luckily, she listens pretty well for a two year and doesn't run away and stops and comes back (most of the time). I think on that you just have to be close by until she can understand why she can't go in the street.

Smiles are gorgeous. Love the photos, even the upset ones.

Our Family of 5 said...

OMG! You had to be in my head when you wrote this. I tell ya, we are going through the same thing. We have some major drop down drag out battles with Sophia. And when I tell her No or try to discipline her she yells NO MOMMY NO MOMMY! And in her sadest more pitiful voice and people look at me like I am killing her. She won't stay in a chair so we have been doing the corner, but she will run right out if I walk away from her. If I get down to her level and tell her NO, that she isn't being a very nice girl, it lasts about 10 seconds and then she is right back at it.
The new thing is if she wants a cookie for example I will give it to her and she will say No Mommy, Pop tart. Well, alot of food is going to be wasted if I give in to every one of her demands, so I tell her (in my sweetest mommy voice) No Sophia we don't ask for things and then change our mind, you get what you asked for. And then I have another battle on my hands. Or she will say HERE MOMMY and give me her book for example and I go to take it and she will scream NO MOMMY. After about the 3rd time I take what ever she is giving me and tell her she can't have it if she is going to act like that. Are these all terrible 2's? Trying to find her own independence? My gosh I don't know but she is going to make me jump off the edge of a cliff =)
In the house if she don't get her way she will kick, stomp, throw herself down on the floor. And now the only thing that seems to stop it is if we totally ignore her.

So, basically Alleen, I have no advice because I am in the same darn posititon as you.

Good luck =)

Jenny and Matt said...

Wow! sounds like we're all in this together! we're having the same thing at our house with Abigia.
We are doing time-ins, here. I sit her on the couch and have to sit in front of her to keep her seated - not holding her down but just my presence keeps her from getting up. Anyway, she screams the whole time. When her 2 minutes are up I *try* to talk to her about why she was in time-out and tell her that when she's ready to listen she can get down.
Argh. Tough.

Kim said...

Me too!! Me too!! (says Kim, raising her hand from the back of the class)

I also have to stand in front of Alex for him to stay in time out. I do like Michelle said - I either turn my back but stay near, or I face him but don't look at him. When he gets up (because he almost always does) I just pick him up and put him back. I try really hard to not say anything (but I'll admit, that I don't always do a good job with that)

Good luck!!! At least we all know that we aren't alone!!

nikki said...

Thank God you posted this, I have been going thru the same thing. Liv use to be good about sitting in time out, now she gets up if I move away. So I stay there.

Yesterday after a few time outs, Liv would not stop being naughty, kicking toys, throwing things, hitting me, so when she would not stay in time out, I took her new toy and threw it out the front dooor, and told her to get back in time out and I would get the toy before the birds got it. Crazy right!!!
Well she stayed in time out and then went out and found that the birdies gave her a second chance.
My neighbors must think I'm crazy but I was at the end of my rope!!
Counting the 11 more months till she's 3!!!

Ginger--Maya's mommy said...

We are in the same place. However, Maya loves timeout. She will sit in the corner for 20 minutes and cry when I take her out.

Nan & Dan said...

Consistency is the key, though not easy for sure. We still use the timer for Danny when he has time out. Luckily Victoria isn't really there yet, when she gets mad she just lays on the floor and looks at us.
Gabriella is beautiful as eva!!

Cameo said...

Mom made me read this post as I'm having a terrible with Valentina. SOOOOO glad to know I'm not alone! Thank you Alleen!!!! I'm going to try the Supernanny route as my two previous things have NOT worked. Ugh. Thanks again!